Yes, I know this page doesn't match the others -- I felt that the black background was more in keeping with my peculiar sense of humor and morbid personality.

    Since I'm not very good at talking about myself, this page has been a struggle for me to create. But, after much thought, I decided to put my résumé (yes, I need some work -- if you have anything I might be able to help you with, please email me) and some links on it, and hope at some point to think of something else to add here. This page is also the home to the long overdue poll, conducted in the name of furthering scientific research on the cutting edge.

Poll:

Where does it hurt when you eat ice cream too fast? *

Right Temple Left Temple Head Nose Throat Jaw Roof of mouth Back (!) Other

* Over the years, driven in the name of science, I've come across people who hurt in their temples, jaw, roof of mouth, throat, nose (!) and back (!!). To my dismay, all these people are members of my family. ;-) Given the array of body parts chosen, I'm curious as to whether other people .. um .. hurt in weird places when they eat ice cream too fast. If I get enough responses, I'm going to put the whole wealth of information into the hands of a statistician, who I hope will write a ground-breaking thesis illuminating this long-hidden subject. Special honorable mention goes to my niece Susan, whose temples hurt when she eats ice cream too fast and whose back hurts when she eats something hot too fast. I want to buy her Baked Alaska just to watch her eat it.

Résumé:

My mission statement is a simple one: I am experienced in a broad cross-section of creative disciplines, both visual and verbal, which work in synergy to bring a fresh, energetic perspective to any task I seek to undertake.

Technical Skills:

Comprehensive knowledge of computer hardware, from legacy mainframe systems to personal computers. Comprehensive knowledge of computer software, especially graphic design software, web layout software, digital video software and desktop publishing software. Specific titles include Adobe Photoshop and Premiere and Macromedia Dreamweaver.

Work History:

Graphic Designer, Osborne Design & Development (November 1991 - present)

• Web site design
• Scanning and video capture
• Desktop publishing (logos, business cards, brochures, art to celebrate special occasions)
• Photo restoration and composition
• Computer-aided art (fractals, raytraces, animations)
• Digital video, including fractal and raytraced animations, morphs and music videos
• Many of my images and articles appeared on a raytracing CDROM published by Walnut Creek
• Author of several articles and tutorials, primarily about raytracing utilties and software comparisons
• Beta tester of graphics and CAD software

Design Group Supervisor, Teccon Circuit Corporation (May 1983 – November 2000)

• Designer of single-sided, double-sided and multi-layer prototype boards
• Familiarity with both thru hole and surface mount technology
• Lead designer (1989-2000), creating and maintaining a large parts library for PADS
• Full awareness of fabrication requirements for board design to both IPC and MIL SPEC standards
• System operator of the company BBS
• Extensive time serving as an instructor in board design to many of our fabrication clients

Education:

AA, Northern Essex Community College (1979-1981)
University of New Hampshire (1981-1984)
Massachusetts Institute of Technology / Lowell Institute (1983-1984)

Weird links (not to be confused with the résumé, or at least, I hope not):

• The Cow Car

• Nude Carrot Man

• Science Made Stupid

Deafness related links:

• Tinnitus